Friday, March 28, 2014

Flashback Friday: The Dance Off

One person required stitches and a mother and son were arrested after a brawl between two dance teams that began during an impromptu "dance off", police said.

It was a quiet night in the suburbs of Wichita. The ten-strong Dynamic Steppers had gathered for their regular drill sessions at the basketball court behind Mike’s Diner. The Regional Allstar Discoamerica Dance Championships were less than a month away. The Dynamics' shock defeat to the White Tigers at last year’s Regionals still gnawed away at their insides. This year, victory would be theirs.

Mikey Z, the young, charismatic leader of the Dynamics, threw his spangle-gloved fist in the air and coolly clicked his fingers four times, punctuating each click with a sensuous body roll. All eyes fell upon him, the crowd respectfully silent. Mikey kicked off with a slammin handglide before swiftly moving into a double backspin. Raucous cheers burst out from his teammates. Z-man was a hero to all of them. Nobody could do a two-legged applejack like Mikey. He caught his proud mama's eye from the sidelines. He was just about to hurl himself into the cannonball, when a cry rang out from across the court.

‘YO MIKEY, IF YOU THINK THOSE MOVES ARE GONNA FLY, YOU TRIPPIN, DOUCHEBAG.’

With that, Jazzy ‘Jazz-hands’ Jack jumped out of the shadows and propelled himself forward with a mid-air somersault, landing on his knees and thrusting his palms out with his fingers fluttering. It was his signature move, the very one that packed such an emotional punch in last year’s routine that the judges forgot all about Mikey’s ferocious running man and foisted the trophy upon the Tigers instead.

Seeing those lithe, supple wrists taunting him with their effortless quiver filled Mikey with a cold, murderous rage ...


(First published 22 September 2005)

6 comments:

Rowen said...

Police must crack down on this sort of dance gang violence. It's completely unacceptable in a modern society. Dance violence should be returned to it's rightful home - Broadway musicals and dodgy 80's rap film clips.

Rowen said...

I'd also like to call for a ban on professional wrestling, because I thinkit's now clear that this kind of highly choreographed combat is spilling onto our streets. Well, New Zealand's streets anyway.

Jeremy said...

From The Onion's "Our Dumb Century":

NEW YORK - Police officials broke up yet another skillfully choreographed, singing street brawl Saturday that left two dead, as rival gangs of dancing, knife-wielding toughs danced intimidatingly on the streets of New York's West Side.

According to Officer Krupke of New York's 32nd Precinct, the youths are members of two rival gangs: the Jets, composed of American-born boys, and the Sharks, composed of young Purerto Ricans.

"These hoodlums and their beautifully choreographed violence must be stopped," said Krupke, who works the West Side beat. "They show no respect for law-enforcement officials such as
myself. They mock us in song."


...
The rest archived here

Jeremy said...

...

Police coverage for the West Side is slated to be doubled, following the show-stopping killings last night.

Members of the gangs have been witnessed singing about the joys of juvenile delinquency and lifting each other into the air by the waist. They also snap their fingers while crouching menacingly and leaping high into the air, witnesses have reported.

Krupke warned citizens to stay clear of the deadly street-prancing and elaborately staged musical numbers. He said the toughs can be identified by their headbands, three-quarter-length pants and form-fitting striped shirts, which have greatly helped them execute their terrifying string of dancing fights.

Ova Girl said...

hilarious.

I laugh at them and and yet I envy their nimble moves.

Scott said...

Jo, stunning work again. Like Truman Capote for the Bring It On set. Love it.