Keira the Humanitarian

Keira Knightley has auctioned her Oscars dress for $10,000, with proceeds going to Oxfam.



"It's brilliant that this dress has raised this much," Knightley said in a statement. "I know it will go a long way to help the people facing this food crisis in East Africa."

Ten thousand bucks? Yes, Keira, you've fed the starving millions.*





* Yeah, yeah, it's a lot more than I've ever given to Oxfam, but do you see me issuing a press statement every time I do Walk Against Want?**

** Okay, fine, so maybe I've never done Walk Against Want, but why does she act like Mother Fucking Teresa cos her people made a phone call to undo our creepy memories of Tom Ford, his tongue and her ear ***

*** Oh, and look! She just happened to be named FHM's Sexiest Woman on the very same day she opened her heart to the people of Africa! She's a woman of substance, NOT JUST A SEXPOT.

**** Right, so everyone's a cynic, but this woman earns $25 million a year, so excuse me if I'm not giving her the Nobel Peace Prize.

**** Oh, just fuck off, Keira lover. Yes, I hate her cos she's pretty.