Hey There Pregnant Lady!

So now that you’ve mastered the Official List of Things You’re Not Allowed To Do For Risk of Harming Your Baby, Screwing its Life and Bringing Down Civilisation One Bloody Mary at a Time …

(short version: don’t smoke, drink, eat sushi, sweeteners or soft cheese, put on weight, lose weight, sleep on your back, overexercise, under exercise, forget to play Bach, speak French or read Proust to your womb)

… here’s another: You can’t work more than 24 hours a week or your kid will be short and stumpy with cross eyes and an overbite and a love of Wa Wa Nee.

Lucky they pay you the big bucks.